


I Don't Love You

by Fandoms_Everywhere_United



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with no happy ending, Fluff? Where is she? Definitely not here, Love Confessions, M/M, NOR ARE THEY TOGETHER AT ANY PART, Seriously there are no redeeming factors, THEY DO NOT GET TOGETHER, Temporary Amnesia, hurtful words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_Everywhere_United/pseuds/Fandoms_Everywhere_United
Summary: "There’s no way that we both end up happy.  I either tell you I love you too, and it hurts me, knowing that I’ve just lied to you, misleading you.  Or I tell you that I don’t love you, and it hurts you.“So I’m sorry that I won’t say anything!  I’m sorry that I can’t love you back, Keith, because it hurts so much.  And in another four or five minutes, you’re going to forget this conversation even happened, and you’re going to tell me you love me again.”  Tears made their way down both of their cheeks, tracing lines that Keith had forgotten had been made five minutes ago.“Why?”  Keith said; it didn’t even sound like a question.“Why does there have to be a reason?”  Lance stood up.  “God, Keith, why are we in this goddamn cell?  Does there always have to be a reason?  Why were we launched into space into an intergalactic war?  Why do you even love me?Why do I need to have a reason?”





	I Don't Love You

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN CLUED IN ALREADY, THERE IS NO FLUFF. THERE'S NONE. THEY AREN'T TOGETHER. THEY DON'T GET TOGETHER. THIS IS NOT HAPPY. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD READ IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY
> 
> That being said, if you are still here after that, please enjoy this angst!
> 
>  **Timeline:** around season 3 ish?  
> 

“I love you.”

Lance closed his eyes, not that it did much good in the darkness of their cell.  He couldn’t... couldn’t do this again.   _I don’t love you_  hung at the back of his tongue, begging to be spoken, but knowing they couldn’t.  He couldn’t do that to Keith.

His mouth opened to answer, but he closed it wordlessly.  Maybe not saying anything this time would be better.

It wasn’t.

“Lance?”  Keith whispered.  “Did you hear me?”  They were curled into each other, sharing body heat.  There was absolutely no way that Lance  _hadn’t_  heard him.

“Yes.”  That was it, not a, ‘Yeah I love you too’ or even a ‘Yeah.’

“What are you going to say?”  Keith prodded.  He shifted against Lance, taking some of the warmth as he did.

Lance swallowed thickly, already regretting his words.  “I’m not.”  He couldn’t tell Keith exactly why he didn’t love him back again.  He couldn’t collect the words to hurt himself and Keith again.  He couldn’t take Keith’s heart and throw the thing on the floor, shattering it into a million bloody pieces again.

* * *

Keith jerked away from Lance like he had been shocked.  Even through the darkness, Lance could tell that Keith was looking at him startled.  “ _What_?!”

“I’m not going to say anything, Keith.  This is the  _sixth time_ that you’ve told me.  I’ve tried something different every time.  There’s no way that we both end up happy.  I either tell you I love you too, and it hurts me, knowing that I’ve just lied to you, misleading you.  Or I tell you that I don’t love you, and it hurts you.

“So I’m  _sorry_  that I won’t say anything!  I’m sorry that I can’t love you back, Keith, because it hurts so much.  And in another four or five minutes, you’re going to forget this conversation even happened, and you’re going to tell me you love me again.”  Tears made their way down both of their cheeks, tracing lines that Keith had forgotten had been made five minutes ago.

“Why?”  Keith said; it didn’t even sound like a question.

“Why does there have to be a reason?”  Lance stood up.  “God, Keith, why are we in this goddamn cell?  Does there always have to be a reason?  Why were we launched into space into an intergalactic war?  Why do you even love me?   _Why do I need to have a reason?”_

His voice echoed against the walls, crushing the two of them with the weight of his words.

“Your eyes,” Keith whispered.  “And how they light up when you’re excited.  Your laugh when you tell a joke, and how you pull others into laughing with you.  Your willingness to fight, even if it’s just me over the last cookie that Hunk made.  Your selflessness, how you jumped out to protect Coran without even thinking about what could happen to you.

“You supported me, especially when I needed it.  I was so worried about the team accepting me, but you were right there, helping me.  You support others; you’re always running around and helping Pidge and Hunk and Allura even when you’re tired.  You work so hard no matter what it is, it could be being a paladin or just trying to beat me in the rivalry.  You made it to fighter pilot, and that’s just...  It’s amazing and I never gave you credit for that.  You made it there on your own.

“You’re just...  You’re everything that I’ve ever wanted to be.  You don’t ever give up, even when everything is at its worst.  There are  _so many reasons,_  and I don’t have the time to list them all.

“Everything has a reason, Lance, even if you don’t think it does.  And if I’m going to forget all of this in a minute or two like you said, would you remember it for me?”

Lance stood with his mouth hanging open.  Keith was still sitting on the floor where Lance had left him.

He turned on his heel, sitting on the corner, as far away from Keith as he could possibly get.  “It doesn’t matter what I remember or don’t.  All I know is that you’re going to forget, and  _I’m_  going to be the one who has to deal with it.

“I’m sorry,”  Keith said after a few seconds of silence.  A minute passed, and neither of them would admit how cold they were.

“Lance?”

“No.”

* * *

Keith had said a lot then.  He had said a lot, and most of it was true about him.  About how much Keith loved Lance.

A few days in a healing pod can apparently heal the minor brain damage that Keith had experienced, so he was back to remembering everything.  He still couldn’t remember anything that happened in the cell though, so Lance counted himself lucky for that.

He would never tell Keith that he was still running through all of Keith’s reasons for loving him months after they were out of that cell, away from the Galra, but he did.  He was running through every reason, reciting them to go to sleep, and trying to notice Keith like Keith had noticed him.

He was the top student at the Garrison, effortlessly.  He protected everyone with this sort of wild ferocity.  Even though he didn’t talk all that much to them, he saw how caring and considerate he could be when he tried.

Slowly but surely, Lance found himself falling for Keith, something he never thought he would do.

“Keith!  I have something to tell you!”  Lance called, glaringly overconfident.  It helped when you knew that your crush was in love with you.  Keith turned around, a bit of confusion clear on his face, but he was happy to see him.

“What’s up?”  Keith asked as Lance caught up with him.

“So, I kinda have this huge ass crush on you, and was wondering what you thought about that.”  He flashed one of his award-winning smiles in Keith’s direction, fully adopting his Loverboy Lance persona.

But instead of Keith’s face lighting up like Lance expected it to, it darkened.  “ _Now_?”  He spat, venom spilling from his lips.

“Yeah,” Lance said, taken aback, but Keith cut him off before he could continue.

“You have a crush on me  _now_  not back there,  _in the cell?_ When I  _confessed_  to you?  And you  _rejected_  me?”

Lance felt like he had been slapped.  “I thought you-”

“Didn’t remember anything?”  Keith interrupted.  “What was it you said?  ‘ All I know is that you’re going to forget, and  _I’m_  going to be the one who has to deal with it’?  Well, you’re doing a phenomenal job at dealing with it, Lance.”

“I’m sorry.”  Lance tried.  “Keith-”

“No.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed your angst!
> 
> Kudos are welcome, Comments are even more so.


End file.
